Liz: after the first miss, I wrote him "please if you cannot come to our appointment, let me know as soon as possible. When I wait for you and you don't show up/ call, it drives me mad. I cannot concentrate on anything else in this time and I don't like the feeling that someone else has power over my time. That you cannot come is not a problem, please just let me know in time." (don't know if this was the right thing to say...) Then I wrote about other things. He answered but nothing about this first thing. After the second miss, he apologized a lot and told me that in the moment he was told his grandmother had an accident, he just forgot about everything and jumped into his car. (I would have done the same...)
Angela: about my father: of course it's not true! I know it's not true, I even already worked on that with a counselor and with EFT. But something still remains obviously. I'll keep on working on that.
I'm still digesting all of the input from all of you... Haven't started with Byron Katie or the Landmark Forum now, I'm still too much clogged with the input I got. I feel it works hard in the background of my brain, processing all this information
Now I see, I am not available at all. I don't want a relationship at all. I don't know if I am ready to learn how to be available now. When I think of it, I get a big I DON'T WANT!!!
It's a big relief for me to know that now. I feel wonderful. I could even let go all those "shoulds" about him. I am so relieved...
And as soon as I let him go, I meet him... guess whom I met accidentally again today?
He told me since his grandma is in the hospital, there is a big family drama, and he has problems dealing with this. He told me he hadn't even time to check my email. And he told me where he works tomorrow and that I am invited to visit him there. I felt he was feeling guilty towards me. I'll try not to should him anymore. I want him to feel free and happy when he sees me.