Quote:
Originally Posted by duhshuh  I completely connected with your post... especially the "I feel like an alien" line. I'm struggling with this too.
I get up and go through the motions everyday, but only because I am alive and can't stand not being productive. My life has become both mindless and pointless and I have a great feeling of insignificance. I also wouldn't say I'm depressed, but my outlook on life is rather grim. |
I understand you. The only thing I can tell you is what I tell to myself. I know there must be a way out. And another person can point it to you, or give you advices, or even show you a map. But that's all he can do, everybody must open his door, and cross it. Ask your intuition and sincerely respond you from the heart if you believe there must be a solution to your current situation. Intuition is a powerful ally to have on your side. All and each one of the decisions I made that I could regret, was the ones I did betraying my intuition. And the things I did following my heart, I'll never be thankful enough for having done them.
I'm actively searching the purpose of my life now... The first I'm doing today is a "brain reboot", because I have my head
so full of junk (things I must do, intentions, half-done works, fears, etc), that
I can't think clearly. If you don't know what a brain reboot is, take a look at
John Reese’s Blog » It’s Time To Reboot Your Brain!. I'll tell if it works. Tastes good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by duhshuh I do have a question for you... what were you doing in your life before you started to feel this way? |
Good question. Not easy to answer.
Sincerely, this is not new. Since my early teenage I've been feeling divided. On one side I wanted to do great things, was full of interest, curiosity and energy. On the other side, lack of self-confidence, lack of supportive relationships made an impression of me. Never any of the sides prevailed over the other one, and I feel exhausted of fighting against myself constantly. Reading this forum is motivating me to face it once for ever...
I'm also feeling that I'm on a valley since I decided not to go to college and study music instead. That decision was a hill. It has been a very good decision AFAICT. The "bad" thing is that a lustrum has happened but I've still not faced my greatest fears. I've learned very much, yes, I'm happy of studying what I like, and meeting the people I've not met otherwise -some of they are part of my life now-, but every year I've been falling in the trap of avoiding to put all my effort on what I want. Fearing change, fearing success, or whatever hell is what I fear...
'til now, i've only put less than a tenth of the effort I'm be capable of. And that is killing me inside.
I don't know why I'm supposed to be here.
But i'm on it
