This may be from left field, but have you talked to him about his habit of not showing up, and not calling/letting you know in advance?
It seems like the motivation you've attached to those actions is a likely one, but it's not the only one. And it's possible that he's not aware of how much he's hurting you.
I find it's always worth putting a voice to your emotional needs in a clear and non-accusatory way. I.E. "When you don't show up when you say you will I feel ________. Can we talk about some alternative ways to let each other know when plans are changing?" (Think Non-Violent Communication techniques)
If he responds well, you may be able to work out a solution that works for both of you, if not, you have more information about his motivation and his conflict resolution skills. Seems like a win/win to me.