Active listening, my friend.
Most of us - myself included, I'm afraid - tend to spend most of their time in conversation within their own heads, formulating responses, rather than actually listening to what the other party is saying. Steven Covey, in his seminal book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, says, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." That's active listening. (I think it's Habit #5.)
Try some of the techniques of active listening that you can find on any google search for 30 days.
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