[backpocket]

I seem to be piling up some momentum, as being present is starting to be a habit. Now it's much easier for me to notice my thoughts, whatever they are, and then just observe them, then choose to let it go.

Had more of those "being totally present" flashes today. When I did, my mind just went quiet, and I felt this joy, and I felt like crying and laughing at the same time. I've read before all these books saying your natural state is joy, everything is perfect the way it is, etc, but only understand it on an intellectual level. Now I don't just understand it intellectually, but I know it. It was only temporary, these flashes but these tiny glimpses just make me more motivated to do this.

I'm using the Sedona method too, to help me deal with my emotions. More and more subtle emotions I've never knew I had are emerging as I start to accept them and let go.

While walking out today I noticed that for the first time I felt totally calm and relaxed, if not just more relaxed than usual. I usually feel some mild fear when I'm out, avoiding strangers, finding a corner to be alone, and just be numb. But now it seems that much more comfortable to go out.