It sounds like you're starting to head in the right direction, cdn2wheeler. To add to what others have said, I'd say you're wise to shift your romantic interests elsewhere. If you're truly trying to achieve what's best for your neighbor, what better way is there to overcome her distrust of men than to show her how a good relationship really works. You're going to need to forget about ever having a romantic relationship with her and you're certainly going to have to drop the sex if/when you meet someone new. You'll also need to strike a balance between tending to your neighbor and her kids' needs and your own relationship, but if you get it right, you'll stand the best possible chance of overcoming her distrust and possibly allowing her to find another happy relationship of her own without anyone being used. I'd caution you against ever becoming totally unavailable, though. I can't envision that doing anything but creating animosity.
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A truly open mind will seriously consider all points of view, even those with which it strongly disagrees for there may be a grain of truth in even the most ridiculous of opinions.
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