It's been great. I'm starting to feel a little more alive. Not just peace or joy and running around happy, but really being able to feel however I'm feeling, be it happy or sad.
This evening, while looking out my balcony, for some reason, I somehow felt as if I saw the world as it really was. It's hard to explain, but it feels like I've been looking at the world through some fog, and suddenly things just opened and everything seemed so alive, so real. The wall, the glass door, the floor, the building opposite, everything just seemed alive, but only for a fraction of a second, then I went back to normal. Maybe it's like when you watch a sunset, or a beautiful scenery, only what I saw was the same old walls in my flat and the opposite building. But it felt exactly like that.
Today, in fact, just now, my friend just told me some shocking news which disappointed me, something to do with my school and ALL the students would probably have to quit and we were all cheated and we wouldn't get certified for our work and stuff like that. My loan would probably be cut too, and because of that I'd have to quit, so I felt miserable and I would've usually cried or kept it in and repress it. But I stayed present, and I felt that sharp pain you usually feel in your chest just start to fill out my whole body, and just letting it be. It lingered, but as I noticed it and didn't allow negative thoughts, just letting it be for what it is, like an observer soon enough, the feeling went away all by its own. All I felt was peace, and a feeling that I could move on, no matter what happens, and that the past is done so forget about it.
It's great. Everybody should go on these kinda binges.
