Currently I'm 18. Most of my life I haven't really known many girls. I re-call a period of time when I was much younger when I would crush on fictional characters in books and such (not a pretty image
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When I was 14, I met a girl who seemed to be interested in me, I can't remember if I was interested in her but we did talk extensively back then and became really good friends. Later on she would tell me that she liked me and I accepted her confession since I liked her as well, although during that period it seemed like she was more into me than vice-versa. Fast forward to now. She has decided that it won't work and I find myself in the position of wanting her emotional connection, to be with her.
What I would like is some clarification on what I've been doing all this time.
The thing that is troubling me is, Did I basically fall for her because she is the first girl that I had come across & because I wanted an emotional bond? (Despite always saying that one should not get in a relationship for the sake of a relationship, seems ironic now.)
Would this mean that I was never interested in her as a girlfriend, just the fact that we had a bond. How about my friendship, suddenly I can't tell whether it's real or not, that it was just me using my closest friend.
It seems like a ridiculous idea to question if my friendship is genuine or not but I would like some perspective on the situation.