Quote:
Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler  I did tell her, once, a while ago, that I thought she and I had a good foundation for a more meaningful relationship and I was interested in pursing it further.
I got a one-word response: NO!
The only time we ever sleep together is when she calls me, and like I said before it's only a handful of times per year. As well, after I had suggested that we "date" or try out a more meaningful relationship, she got quite pi$$ed off and wouldn't speak to me for a few days. |
I know that you sincerely believe that you and this woman have astounding similarities and would make a great match. And yet she has been very upfront about saying that she's not interested--you're going to have to trust that she sees things differently and maybe sees/feels incompatibilities that you can't see now in your enthusiasm for wanting to be together.
The LoA isn't about trying to force a situation--it's about allowing things to happen for your higher good. When someone out-and-out says "no" to you, and you keep pursuing them, you are going against the grain and trying to make something happen rather than trusting the universe to provide your highest desires.
It also sounds like you are attached to proving yourself worthy. You seem to have a lot of negative emotion and judgment around the topic of "let's be friends"--it is insulting to you and you are desperately trying to prove yourself, and that desperation is working against your vibe. It is most likely a personal turn-off for her as well.
The number one thing you need to do is step back and get to a place where you are not so attached to the outcome. If you know any emotional release techniques--EFT, Sedona, meditation, prayer, yoga--employ these tools now to cultivate detachment to outcomes.
On a basic social level, what's manifested here is your belief that you don't deserve a sexy, loving, adult relationship. You're going along with this by being this woman's friend and occasional sex buddy (at her behest) and, yeah, she probably sees you as a reliable friend, not a boyfriend.
See if you can focus on learning detachment, going with the flow, and finding a woman you can be truly romantic with. Give up the idea of being with this woman until you can reconfigure your dynamic so that she sees you as a romantic possibility, and not "just a friend."
And to sum: fish, sea, plenty.
When I think of some of the men I have crushed out on, convinced that they could be The One--I look back and laugh. The only magical quality they had was ambivalence, which fed right into my patterns of self-destruction.
Heal that desperation and feeling of lack and feeling of "not deserving" and there will be plenty of great women who will want to be with you!