If she's been hurt very badly, she may be done with relationships and you might have to accept that. Time may help her get over the pain from the past. The fact that you've been a good friend and haven't made any demands on her relationship-wise is certainly in your favor. However, if you truly care about her, you naturally want the very best for her. That might mean that you'll only have her in your life as a friend.
As an aside, I hope she realizes how incredibly fortunate she is to have such a good friend as you. Please don't under estimate how important you are to her and her children. No doubt you've made a very valuable contribution to this family and that's a good thing.
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