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However, when the typical male nerd needs to approach the prom queen (or even a female nerd, for that matter) he goes havoc - but is this inconfidence due to his own personality or due to the belief that nerds will loose at romantic matters?
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May I offer some neuroscience about this one???
Well, to begin with, here is the reason that he goes havoc. This is from "Making a Good Brain Great" by Daniel G. Amen.
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WHY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN MAKE MEN STUPID
There is now scientific proof of something poeple have long suspected-- beautiful women make men stupid. Canadian researchrs showed men pictures of conventionally prettu and not-so0pretty women. The men rolled dice--and were told they would... bla bla bla.... proving, researchers say, that men stop thinking about long-term consequences once love chemicals kick in. [and the same test did not work on women it says...] ... Beautiful women seem to cause a man's limbic system to fire up (emotional charge) while his prefrontal cortex heads south, leaving the judgement area of the brain vacant....
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How she looks hijacks his brain:
30% of the human brain is dedicated to vision. When a man sees an attractive woman, the visual areas of his brain fire with activity. She litterally hijacks a large portion of his brain. It can feel emotionally overwhelming, even addictive.
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That's the reason he goes havoc. Being around a hot babe litterally makes him stupid. He might be all confident and brave a first... but then he sees her, and all bets are off
Someone has to be the authority on who is social or not. It can either be yourself or it can be someone else who claims to know what people are social. The truth is, you just have to know it yourself. If you feel lonely, then well, you are not social enough.
If you are a single guy, just moved into a new area, all the women at work are fat slobs, and you've not joined any other type of organizations around the communty yet, and want to get the experience necessary so that when you do come across a highly intelligent and beautiful woman that she wont hijack your brain (becuase you've developed neural circuits from hanging around beautiful women, so that you get used to using the other parts of your brain that are not being hijacked) then getting used to women in clubs is probably a good place, because there is a high concentration of them there, and the stakes are not so high.
And the reason you may not have any experience is because you've allways been a good work/student with full concentration on doing the stuff that matters, like school work, and never going out partying.
Then once you've developed your brain so that you can interact with beautiful women without acting stupid around them, and are able to make a good emotional connection through conversation with her, then you can go and find a high quality woman (beautiful, caring, passoinate, intelligent and knows how to have some fun [that would be quite a rare woman] ), in more normal/natural places, like through work or church, mutual friends or wherever, and then give her all your best to her only.