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lizthefair · 09-15-2007, 07:02 PM

I see where you are coming from--I used to feel this way too and for me it's because my first socialization experiences were horrible.

I grew up in a tiny town with people who were perfectly happy with the way things always were. I never fit in with any of them. I spent years in elementary and high school trying to change myself to fit in with what others expected me to be and was totally miserable and unsuccessful.

We moved to a slightly larger small town when I was in high school and I had the good fortune to meet a small group of people with whom I clicked. I didn't change, they didn't change we just happened to be a match. I still wasn't popular but for the first time I experienced socialization the way it was supposed to be.

I went to college and had a similar experience (only better) and have gone on to get deeply involved in the gaming world (board games and RPGs--like Dungenons and Dragons) and have met even more people that I genuinely like and we have a good time together.

You know what we have in common? Almost to a person we were all unpopular in school--people just didn't get us. When you are hanging out (or trying to hang out) with people you don't mesh with, you will only be miserable.

Turns out the world is wide, and the diversity of people are amazing. Gamers have a reputation in the media of being sloppy and bad communicators and living with their mom--but so what? Most gamers aren't like that. Many of them have high paying jobs, quirky senses of humor and love to get together to have a good time using their imaginations. And what's wrong with that??

The best thing I ever did was to stop trying to change to be like the popular people and started looking for people who were more like me. Don't be social on other people's terms, be social on yours.

09-15-2007, 07:02 PM	#9 (permalink)
lizthefair Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Dayton, OH Posts: 112	I see where you are coming from--I used to feel this way too and for me it's because my first socialization experiences were horrible. I grew up in a tiny town with people who were perfectly happy with the way things always were. I never fit in with any of them. I spent years in elementary and high school trying to change myself to fit in with what others expected me to be and was totally miserable and unsuccessful. We moved to a slightly larger small town when I was in high school and I had the good fortune to meet a small group of people with whom I clicked. I didn't change, they didn't change we just happened to be a match. I still wasn't popular but for the first time I experienced socialization the way it was supposed to be. I went to college and had a similar experience (only better) and have gone on to get deeply involved in the gaming world (board games and RPGs--like Dungenons and Dragons) and have met even more people that I genuinely like and we have a good time together. You know what we have in common? Almost to a person we were all unpopular in school--people just didn't get us. When you are hanging out (or trying to hang out) with people you don't mesh with, you will only be miserable. Turns out the world is wide, and the diversity of people are amazing. Gamers have a reputation in the media of being sloppy and bad communicators and living with their mom--but so what? Most gamers aren't like that. Many of them have high paying jobs, quirky senses of humor and love to get together to have a good time using their imaginations. And what's wrong with that?? The best thing I ever did was to stop trying to change to be like the popular people and started looking for people who were more like me. Don't be social on other people's terms, be social on yours. __________________ Who is Lizthefair?