[NotesMaeve]

To start, I REALLY like this post.

Originally Posted by DeathStorm

I wanted to open this discussion because I have a feeling that many people in today's 21st century world are facing a moral panic about their own social lives (or what they perceive as unsocial lives), trying to have more and more and more without even knowing why in first place.

We do interact less as a society than we used to. Families are less close. Arguably, this isn't always so bad.

I don't know where exactly these beliefs stem from (though my sixth sense keeps suggesting me something, especially because I'm a business school student, and there's a lot of etiquette around networking and interpersonal skills here...).

We value individuality in western culture. Socializing is less important with that belief.

- people perceive themselves as "unsocial" because they don't go clubbing as much as others; My question: do you find other human beings (and potential partners, if that's what you needed in first place) only at nightclubs and parties?

Okay, I'm a freak. I mainly associate with freaks. While I love going to bars, parties, etc. a few times a month, most of my socialization doesn't happen there.

- people are unsatisfied with themselves because they don't have enough friends on Facebook (a social networking website especially targeted at students + there are many similar networking systems, online and offline); My question: do you actually need so many friends to reach whatever purpose you want to?

The only people who pride themselves on that:

1) Actually have a Facebook account (IE, are not me)

2) Don't socialize a lot in real life and don't earnestly meet and get to know people

People who have learned how to socialize ever remain alone for long. I will testify to this. I will say that the more connections you make, and the more people you meet and get to know and like you, the easier it is to get stuff done and have a pleasurable life.

- people perceive themselves as unable to groom globally because of specific tastes and hobbies in life that are different from mainstream (see below).

Disagreed. I am pretty different from your average 22 year old woman. I work in a male dominated industry. I love geometry, astrology, and astronomy.

What I have often noticed is that, although the usual customs of socializing and being "networked" might be useful sometimes, many people (especially newcomers!) do so at the expense of their own identity - and often buy into passive herd behavior.

You don't have to. The entire reason I am remembered is BECAUSE I stand out. Individuality? Personality? Identity? I got them b-----s in spades.

While I'm aware that for some people social problems can arise due to hardwired genetic causes (which can be overcome anyway...), I think that most of the problems I often hear about regarding "social confidence" merely stem from these misconceptions about oneself and one's activities/hobbies.
I think that it is easy for people to be told (or believe for themselves) that they are "unsocial", and - as a consequence - feel lack of confidence when facing what they consider "social situations".

Agreed totally. The choice is not to feel badly about your lifestyle, to embrace your differences, and people will often not only accept you, but think you're a cool cat.

A typical nerd nowadays spends hours of his time playing competitive online games like Second Life or World of Warcraft. From what I have seen, both games are full of other people, thousands, and the players constantly communicate with each other (I suppose they are human beings as well, which makes the practice probably similar - if not more engaging - than randomly adding friends on Facebook!).

Dude! I LOVE World of Warcraft. It's fantasy and fun. Socialization? Not so much. I might socialize with someone outside the game, but within it, kind of hard.

However, when the typical male nerd needs to approach the prom queen (or even a female nerd, for that matter) he goes havoc - but is this inconfidence due to his own personality or due to the belief that nerds will loose at romantic matters?

I disagree. Slamhot Boy is a nerd. He speaks Latin fluently. (Squee!) He majored in Classics. He's approaching 40 and losing his hair and has no interest in being a gym bunny, although he's in great shape from cycling, but is not "chiseled." So, you tell me why he's hitting it with a 22 year old who is traditionally "hot?" (He's not rich.) But he is incredibly sweet, brilliant, and handsome. Not handsome in the lame Abercrombie and Fitch way, but what would I do with that kind of boy? Put him on a shelf and look at him?

To conclude this first post, I would appreciate if all of you could - apart from discussing this - mention situations from your life in which you were having a great time together with other people, but don't fit into what is conventionally called "Social Life".

I think I did that for you as well as discussed the nerd that rocks my socks. ;-)