ummm... wow.
If you want to get laid, and only laid, I have a quick fix. You can get laid in a few days, guaranteed.
1) Go buy some nice/hip clothes, put them on. (avoid Dockers type brands, look for Deisel etc.)
2) Go buy some nice beer(makes you feel all classy), drink it.
3) You're old enough, so go to the bar, stand tall and do the following.
Introduce your self by smiling and saying, "Hi! My name is ________," while sticking out your hand for a handshake. She will usually say "hi" and shake your hand.
Proceed to ask, "How about a f***?"
If she says yes, then figure out where and how the two of you will go about your business, take a taxi as both of you are probably tanked.
If she says no, move on to the next girl/girls.
If you get no "yes" answers move to the next bar/club and continue.
4) keep drinking.
**note2, this only works in bars and clubs, where absolutely idiotic behaviour is permitted**
**note3, you might not want to sleep with the girls who say "yes!"**
This actually works and has been tested, about 1 in 25 will say yes or play along.
Now go get F***ED in every sense of the word. That is what you want right?
Personally, I think you should work on getting your life together. Go get a career, learn how to make normal friends who go out. Own your life for once. But, break out of your shell gradually.
How to have more social success | Free practical advice on social skills, getting along with people, and getting your act together