Quote:
Originally Posted by jtrikster  I guess you guys already get my drift with my title; moving on.
so...how do you move on?
I've always been told if someone wants to leave your life you let them. if they want to walk away you just forget about it. what makes it hard is when you confuse a seasonal with a lifelong person. you think they're a tree root but end up being a leaf who just takes from the tree.
so how do you move on?
suggestions? comments? |
Contrary to popular beleif, moving on is not always the best option for everyone. In fact I posed a question on here regarding which choice to make... apologizing, making ammends, becoming friends, moving on, letting go... when you really look at them they're all choices. I have had much the same advice in my life, and much of it I think is not very practical and quite condescending. Telling someone to forget about their lost life, is almost like saying "I don't have the faith in you to be able to work things out with that person." Ultimately, however, really only YOU can make the choice. Either you stick with all the advice you hear, or you determine your own course of action. If you feel led one way, but you don't go that way, simply because of what you hear, then you'll just be continually sabatoging yourself. I'm not saying their isn't good advice for you out there, but I'd just be careful which to pick from. I've come to veiw advice like fruits. If you want an orange, you can't pick from the apple tree. I've discovered that I asked my parents advice on this, but they don't fit the bill because they've never done what I want to do. It's like asking someone who has never skydived how to skydive. A lot of times when we ask for advice we are so anxious, we ask just about anybody. But think about it like this... If you want to teach elementary school, do you go to school for Aviation? So I came to the conclusion that I needed to stop asking advice from people who never did what it is that I want to do. I also stopped asking advice from people who told me that what I wanted to do was impossible, or shouldn't be done. Who do they think they are anyway? Most often we get the impossible's and shouldn't's from people who haven't succeeded in that area in their own life...
I am not going to suggest that you move on, or that you don't. But I am going to suggest that you work out and figure out which option is best for you and your former partner. Much of the conventional wisdom teaching all the strategies to get a lover back, or to communicate better, or to move on, to let go, whatever are really of poor quality (IMO). The truth is, its a choice that only you can really determine. You can choose to adhere the advice others give to you, but if it's not working for you then most likely it wa bad advice in the first place.