Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo
It seems to me that you're focusing on the bad things at the moment. (cut) Don't focus on this negative side. Write down what you find wonderful about her and what you like in the relationship. concentrate only on these positive aspects. (cut) Maybe you'll still want to go. But you will be able to take a free decision and won't attract more pain later
Best wishes to you! We're with you
Actually you're right -- I do concentrate on negative things. I feel like I jumped in to help someone out of dark water but now I'm the one that frantically grasps for bits of air. I'm the stronger one in our relationship but I guess I've been too gentle in rescuing and that made me weaker. Problem is, trying to get out of water forcibly may separate hands holding together... damn, it's all so cold and intellectual to talk about it :/ But without being stronger again I won't be able to do anything -- save myself, save anyone. Kudos to you, Rose of Cairo for most thought-provoking post! It's not a solution but a light shining on all paths!
Originally Posted by Angela
You sound like you're really scared of causing her pain. But you are not doing her any favors by avoiding causing her pain, thereby trapping both of you in a communicationless, loveless, freedomless situation.
All you wrote is true... and also makes me think
Scared... I never thought that I'm scared of causing pain. Thank you very much Angela!