Originally Posted by mage
That's basically root of all problems -- we can't constructively talk about our relationship.... She believes in things getting better by themselves.
If you can't communicate in your relationship, then you don't have a relationship. If she believes that not communicating (letting things get better by themselves) is the best approach, she's not ready to be in a loving, mutually beneficial relationship.
You sound like you're really scared of causing her pain. But you are not doing her any favors by avoiding causing her pain, thereby trapping both of you in a communicationless, loveless, freedomless situation.
Don't let fear run your life. Do the loving thing. I think you should see a therapist on your own about this.