 It makes perfect sense.
It hurts like a mf, though, I'm sure, and I'm sorry you are going through that.
After seven years together (you ever hear of the "seven year itch"?) you started to get serious: money, future, goals, etc. This was confronting to him; he realized he wasn't ready for that, he told you (to his credit!) that it was all too serious and he just wanted to have fun. Who is the perfect person to get involved with if you just want to have fun? Someone who is younger, no career, childish -- someone who is a safe bet not to push him for all the serious stuff. Then he insures himself even further by keeping you on the hook -- "I love you, you're my future, you're my best friend, I'll never hurt you...." and you fall for it because you've got so much invested in him.
In fact, he has told you the truth, so believe him. He is not ready for the kind of relationship you want. There is nothing you can do to change him, and figuring him out will not profit you.
My advice to you is: Let him go with love. Stop being his "best friend" -- stop seeing him entirely, at least until he is 100% clear of this new girl-toy. But let go of the hope that you'll get together again, too. Immediately find three fabulous men and allow them to ask you out on dates, and then investigate and revel in whatever it is that attracted them to you.
Waste as little of your life as possible singing the Chicken Opera (Braack! Why did he Why won't he How come he Why wouldn't he.... braaack! braaack! braaaaaaaaack!!!!)  |