Hey,
I just thought I wrote here what's on my mind all day lon since I'm hung up on it and it kills me. Talking to friends is not exactly going to help me because I don't think they'd understand me and of course I need some neutral advice/ opinions.
My problem is that latley I treat my girlfriend like crap. (I'm actually talking about a girl I wrote long ago
click. I'm actually happy with her now and I honestly can say I love her.) But I don't know what's up with me. I feel like I'm not enough for her that's all in my head I know but I can't ignore my feelings on that subject. All she wants to do is spent time with me (which I would love to do) but it's not that easy because school started again, she lives far away (not in my town), and she has other obligations like her sports. This weekend she has no time for me and that makes me angry. I know it's not her fault and that makes it all the more stupid how I react. I push her away and talk like
"Well I don't care if we see each other, I don't care when we see eacht other again, I don't want to see you for just 4 hours a week so stay at home"
Yesterday she asked me if I wanted to go to a club and I said no. Later she wrote me a short message where she was and I should come by if I wanted to. As is read that I felt even angrier and I don't know why, I know it probably sounds crazy but I guess I'm just stupid. Of course I didn't respond to that to make her feel sad. I'm such an *******.
The most stupid thing is that I wanna let her feel how I feel, I can't just let it go, which is just what I have to do to be a good partner. I should care about her feelings and make it easier for her. Even though I know that I can't do it. It's like it's physically impossible, I just react the way I described and though I feel sorry I don't behave like I'm sorry.
I really want to make it up to her... how could I change myself? Make a better man out of myself, so that she can be happy and doesn't have to stand my mood swings...