Quote:
Originally Posted by Wulfen  I always tell the girls beforehand that I do not want a serious relationship and that I won't be monogamous |
My take on this is that you're not practicing true polyamory. You're just "dating around" and not committing to anyone (which is fine of course, since you're saying this up front).
Poly=many="I won't be monogamous"
-amory=loving != (does not equal) "I do not want a serious relationship".
To me polyamory means you have serious, loving, committed (or open, but that's a different topic) relationships with more than one person at once.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ahimel Since I think it might be relevant to this thread, I'm female.
I can't imagine a serious polyamorous relationship working long-term unless each pair of partners really likes each other. So if you have two girlfriends, sometimes you'll all 3 be together, but sometimes Amy will have to accept that you want some time alone with Beth (not necessarily for sex, but sometimes it's nice to have a 2-person date, or just talk), Beth will have to accept that sometimes you want to be alone with Amy, AND you will have to accept that sometimes Amy and Beth want "girl time" to discuss clothes/watch a chick flick/dissect their dates/discuss menstruation, etc. It doesn't matter whether or not their relationship is sexual independant of you, but it does matter that they have a relationship totally unrelated to you.
Otherwise, you're essentially trying to have 2 relationships (or more!) in the space where most people have 1. And most people with 1 don't have enough time to do it. If you have to build up 2 completely seperate relationships with completely seperate date nights, sex nights, dinners, movies, dances.... they'll never be satisfied, and you'll never sleep. But with 3 of you within a single relationship, you have enormous flexibility. If Amy has a painting class, you and Beth don't have to sit around bored waiting for her to get home. If you want to play basketball, Amy and Beth can join or not without feeling the slightest guilt about how it will affect the relationship. You have 5 possible combinations of alone-together, instead of the normal 2. |
ahimel - That's brilliant and I can see exactly what you mean. The women don't necessarily have to be bisexual but they do have to have a relationship with each other. It has to be a 3 way relationship, not two separate two-way relationships.