Angela, first, my nickname is Sourcerer, not Sourceror.
Second, the reason why "[t]his whole thread has been about [my] fight to hold onto" "'I shut down during conversations'" is because I'm looking for a way to stop shutting down. And I don't know if that makes sense to you, but in order to get help, I need to describe my problem as it is - and that's the way it is.
I also note that you have no understanding of concept-formation. Concepts are formed from very simple ones, and then they are joined to form further concepts until at some point they become very abstract and can help handle enormous ideas. I think of my "tiny improvements" as those beginning concepts - very small and modest - but when I grasp them fully, I'll be able to build greater concepts... but I need to start somewhere! And it's far better to start with observation - concrete, simple, observable facts - than at some very abstract level that you suggested.
On a more general note, I've actively started to deal with this problem at about the same time I started this thread, so the conditions have changed now and I have some progress to report - if anyone cares to offer some help.
I'm still not able to bring all my knowledge into a conversation, so there's still some blockade, but I don't shut down completely either. I'm now mentally present in a conversation, at least partially (the initial shutdown still happens, but I recover quickly).  |