Angela, do you know what it means to have your complete faculty of goal-directed thought totally shut down? From your post, I gather you don't.
I'd absolutely love to analyze other people's words as you said; but what I'm trying to get across is that I can't; not at this point. I just don't get to the point when I'm "really getting what the other person has to say", because that information - the words they've spoken - don't get to enter my conscious thought. In worst cases, I basically have no idea what they're talking about. More often, though, I get what they're talking about, but I'm having difficulty constructing an answer - because half my conscious brain is paralyzed.
As I said, in a conversation my brain just switches to autopilot - spitting out whatever answers are appropriate, non-insulting, etc. I remember once I was laughed at because I was manipulated, by not even very skilled a speaker, into saying something and then denying or contradicting it, within less than a minute. It was like my consciousness was on another planet or something; I never even figured out what the conversation was about.
I also said that I'm slowly making progress towards ... well ... not shutting down completely. At this point, I can keep enough focus when talking to someone to understand what the heck we are talking about, but then again, not enough to form an answer which I think is best. When I said I'm trying to at least look people in the eye, it was only the means - something simple to hold on to consciously - to stay there, instead of wandering off in my mind and letting the autopilot take over the conversation again.
An interesting thing is that this happens only in conversations. I never switch off like that in other things, except perhaps when I'm very tired.  |