@Catnip:
Thanks for that - I was hoping someone who'd done graduate school without their heart in it would say something about their experience. I feel exactly the way you did - that with the professors and department treating me as well as they do, and with the money they and the government are investing in me, I should do something to earn it. Thanks also for sharing the honest truth about how you felt while doing a PhD, and that leaving the program made you feel better.
@Stu/falcan
You guys might find this rather interesting. I asked my mother for a psychic reading. She came up with something like this... "You are stuck in a mud hole right now. You don't want to be there, it's not pleasant, but if you leave, you will expose yourself to great danger. Whatever it is you are thinking, don't proceed with it just yet, as the further you go, the closer you come to the danger. If you stay where you are, you will be safe for now. You must wait for the right opportunity to come, then get out."
I realised that graduate school is my mud hole. I don't like it, but it's not the right time to jump ship. I have doubts that I still stay longer than the 8 months required to get a master's degree, and I will be constantly on the look out for the opportunity. In the meantime, I realised that deep down, I'm a teacher. People have been telling me that for years, but it took this long for it to sink in. I don't know exactly what I should be teaching (piano? yoga? math?), but it's exciting to be discovering who I am.
Thanks everyone for your answers. Catnip, it is extremely helpful to hear from a former graduate student - I hope you're enjoying what you're doing now a lot more than school!
Stu & Falcan, thanks too for your insights... it's not time to go yet. |