David, I haven't been in your situation, but I do have one comment.
Normally, when I'm reluctant to reveal something to my family, it's because there are still traces of guilt...subconscious or not...
My advice is that you research some great men (and women) you admire who were gay.
Here are some examples from the top of my head:
- George Takei (Sulu, from Star Trek)
- Timothy Findley
- Alan Turing, the father of modern computing
- Leonardo da Vinci
- Ian McKellan
- Graham Chapman
- Rosie O'Donnell
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