[Livgivare]

Think about the lies in relationship today.

1) Sex need to be a huge part of a relationship: There is alot of people who are asexual and/or lack the feeling of need sex in their life. They find friendship and such more interesting and important in the relationship. Sex also varies arround the life, think about babies what they do to a relationship. The fact that after a few years you settle down to having sex a little less then when you started off. Sickness and handicaps also lead to people being in a place where sex becomes harder to perform, doesn't place them in a unloving relationship either.

2) The Falling in love feeling needs to be there all the time: Passion is just the jump-start and can be a spice in the relationship. What a relationship needs more is respect, understanding, friendship, time with and without the partner and many more stuff that adds up to a party meal. So many people meet, fall in love, get married, get two kids and after 7 or so years they separate just because the passion is dead and leaving children off with hard times. Renaming and reinvent the love and make it feel as it can whitstand the passion and last longer is even more important then just being passionate rabbits that can't be away from each other. This state of mind comes often from rom-coms and fariytales from early childhood where prince meet princess and they live happily ever after.

3) Love needs to fit an A4 paper feeling: Heterosexual, missionary, house-dog-car-two-kids, beautiful relationship with family members of your partner and all other myths that goes arround today of how a love-life shall be portraying. This is really devestating for love. Some might find love a bit better with high-heels no children and 20 pet rats in their 4 room appartment. You get what I mean. Never define love on what other think is love, you know what is love to you and just you.

4) Grass is greener on the other side: What if what you have is absolutely the best you could dream about and want? What if people put names on what is hugely big parts of good relationships and you find youself trying and trying to get that, and when you get it, it is not you? A top model look alike of Angelina Jolie or a big sholder plummer guy or something like that is not what you look for and all your friends tells you that they look for that, you start to try it out too. If you want lets say a thin mouthed, short, overweight blonde girl with very much intelligence or if you want the androgynous guy with blue eyes and no big sholders what so ever you go for that instead. Or what if the person you look for is a book-worm that can talk Russian fluently and are not that much of a sex-bomb?

I guess that there is more myths on how love is supposed to be, to become happy and merry-go-arround. Get to the bottom of the usual myths out there in the world and in your own heart and find what suits you and maybe this girl. Be happy with what you really want, need and love about a person and try to find your own way to happiness. That way, you will really really find your own kind of happiness and shut out others way to happiness in your life.

If you by now have cut out the myths of love and still need to move out and split the relationship with this girl, fine you have found out what you need and she is not that. But what if you really really need this girl to get old with? Think also about who you wanna spend the last 15 years with.

Love Leelene