hi,
i know what you are going through. i went throught it, am going through it, and trying to deal with it. this is going to be met with some disagreement, and if you want to see a doctor, or think it's right for you, then do it, but i really dont think that that is necessary. i feel disconneted from my friends, my family, my education, my future, my life. it gets worse if i drink and it gets better when i shut my brain off by doing intense exercise or reading my neuroscience textbook. it's just that life seems pointless. and while you may be depressed i dont quite think that that is what it is. i think you are realizing that things you once thought were important are now trivial. the things, people you cared about now seem kind of unimportant. the conversations my friends are having with each other seem just so stupid and ridiculous. are they going to remember this issue in 5 years? one year? is this issue really affecting anyone? are they really getting mad about something that stupid? where, if you remember correctly it would have been something you would have cared about not too long ago. i think going to a doctor, while you might have someone to talk to, if you are the kind of person who feels better after opening up, may not solve your problem. it may prescribe you medicaitons but unless your serotonin levels are low this wont really help you too much. this is a problem that you need to come to terms with on your own inevitably. only you can find a motivation or what you care about, which is what i think both of us need to find out. lately i've been getting warm feelings when i think about things in life thati find i truely care about... someone came up with good ideas when they suggested think about what you would do if you had one mroe day on earth or a second chanceto live. there must be soemthing that you still like. helping kids, trail running, studying X subject...? even if it is not apparent right now it's deep inside. i found some help by reading the more in depth articles by steve. the "rise in consciousness" hit the nail so hard on the head i wondered if i was living in a paradox. and the "law of attraction" and "subejective reality" articles are also interesting because they imply that you are in complete charge of your life. it's like a movie in which you are the only star because your consciousness is the only one that exists. it's kind of a lonely idea that sometimes makes me depressed, but like i said, i dont have solutions as i am still dealing with the same thing as you... only now it drifts in and out. (more in that out...) the one thing i know for sure is that i dont want to go back to caring about the stupid crap i cared about beofre. it's would be like unlearning something just because you didnt like the truth you were exposed to, and i cant do that. all i can do (and you too) is move forward with this new awareness. i dont think we should look at it as a low point in which the goal is to return to out baseline of thinking and happiness, but as a new level of thinking, in which if we continue and take advantage of state of mind that it can lead us somewhere where we will eventually not feel like crap.
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