Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Was I dumb in these situations? Analizing past social encounters...

Freelancer · 08-31-2007, 02:23 PM

Let me break this down for you;
It is absolutely redicilous that you are still thinking about these occurences to this day. I probably make more stupid blunders in social interactions on a DAILY basis (mostly regained by 'oh crap thats not what I meant' lol) than those two...

Its interesting but the more comfortable you are the more comfortable other people will feel. Also interesting that if you say something dumb but pay no real attention to it yourself (just keep talking or ask a question or something) than nobody will think twice about it. The moment you start apologizing or internally worrying about what you said is the moment other people will pick up on it. What you think about yourself is reflected in the behavior of the people you interact with on a daily basis. You feel uneasy, they feel uneasy, you feel anxious, they feel anxious etc.

I understand this is NOT an easy thing to change at all, hell I'm not even there yet (its a journey and although I'm moving forward rapidly now there is never a end), but in this society you almost have to be comfortable interacting with people to be able to function properly.

Also forget about social phobia, don't put a label on yourself that limits you in any way. Social phobia is simply thinking habits that you can change, its not a disease thats untreatable. Even if you DO have it you should still forget about it, if you HAVE a disease than you automatically feel that you cant change the situation even though improvements are always possible. So stop putting a self depreciating label on yourself...

Ps. I might sound a bit harsh but its all in good spirit to help you, I've come from a similar place (although probably not as bad) so I know where I'm coming from...

08-31-2007, 02:23 PM	#5 (permalink)
Freelancer Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Netherlands Posts: 821	Let me break this down for you; It is absolutely redicilous that you are still thinking about these occurences to this day. I probably make more stupid blunders in social interactions on a DAILY basis (mostly regained by 'oh crap thats not what I meant' lol) than those two... Its interesting but the more comfortable you are the more comfortable other people will feel. Also interesting that if you say something dumb but pay no real attention to it yourself (just keep talking or ask a question or something) than nobody will think twice about it. The moment you start apologizing or internally worrying about what you said is the moment other people will pick up on it. What you think about yourself is reflected in the behavior of the people you interact with on a daily basis. You feel uneasy, they feel uneasy, you feel anxious, they feel anxious etc. I understand this is NOT an easy thing to change at all, hell I'm not even there yet (its a journey and although I'm moving forward rapidly now there is never a end), but in this society you almost have to be comfortable interacting with people to be able to function properly. Also forget about social phobia, don't put a label on yourself that limits you in any way. Social phobia is simply thinking habits that you can change, its not a disease thats untreatable. Even if you DO have it you should still forget about it, if you HAVE a disease than you automatically feel that you cant change the situation even though improvements are always possible. So stop putting a self depreciating label on yourself... Ps. I might sound a bit harsh but its all in good spirit to help you, I've come from a similar place (although probably not as bad) so I know where I'm coming from...