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Originally Posted by Zukin  Those are great points, sranganayaki. It reminds me of the research of the psychologist John Gottman. Basically, he says that all human relationships are made up of individual transactions called "bids" which are represented by verbal or nonverbal actions. In this model, someone will make a "bid" and then the other person can choose to respond to or reject that bid. The most successful relationships (whether they are romantic relationships, friendships, or work groups) involve people making and responding to bids positively and on a regular basis.
Here's a further summary: Simple Steps for Making Marriage Work - Lovegevity.com |
Thanks for your interesting link with John Gottman and agree with the idea of reciprocity implied in his exchange of bids. But in my experience the action is less important than the attitude. If each partner responds with the right attitude to the other, their actions are much less significant. Then only the interaction matures from a bargain to real human relationship.