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sept · 08-29-2007, 07:13 PM

i've been in denial about the state of my relationship for a while. Telling myself i did not want to be with this person and rejecting their advances. While at the same time trying to work out my own personal issues. i stayed on in the relationship and various aspects have improved. Communication is getting better between both of us, etc

however, i still have not been sexually attracted to my partner. i spent a long time fantasizing about other people. even chatting a few of them up. with each new person, i found reason to not pursue the attraction.

a few days ago, i went to visit a mutual friend. we ended up kissing & some touchy feely stuff. But, no sex. i couldn't do it. they did not spark passion in me.

so, now i have resolved to kiss my partner with all the passion i have in order to see how i truly feel about it. like i said, in the recent past i have rejected her advances. found her visually unattractive & to have unattractive habits. i won't see her for a couple days though and this is a good thing. it gives me time to release alot of negative images

any thoughts or advice is appreciated. my main question is: should i tell my partner i kissed this other person? i will not pursue anything with them and they agreed that it would be best not to tell my partner.

but, there is a certain level of remorse. i don't even know that i would call it guilt. it seems like something i had to do in order to see clearly that i did not want the sexual fling i thought i wanted.

thanks for reading.

08-29-2007, 07:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
sept Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 26	long term relationship i've been in denial about the state of my relationship for a while. Telling myself i did not want to be with this person and rejecting their advances. While at the same time trying to work out my own personal issues. i stayed on in the relationship and various aspects have improved. Communication is getting better between both of us, etc however, i still have not been sexually attracted to my partner. i spent a long time fantasizing about other people. even chatting a few of them up. with each new person, i found reason to not pursue the attraction. a few days ago, i went to visit a mutual friend. we ended up kissing & some touchy feely stuff. But, no sex. i couldn't do it. they did not spark passion in me. so, now i have resolved to kiss my partner with all the passion i have in order to see how i truly feel about it. like i said, in the recent past i have rejected her advances. found her visually unattractive & to have unattractive habits. i won't see her for a couple days though and this is a good thing. it gives me time to release alot of negative images any thoughts or advice is appreciated. my main question is: should i tell my partner i kissed this other person? i will not pursue anything with them and they agreed that it would be best not to tell my partner. but, there is a certain level of remorse. i don't even know that i would call it guilt. it seems like something i had to do in order to see clearly that i did not want the sexual fling i thought i wanted. thanks for reading.