Quote:
Originally Posted by suicidaldude  But I really hate who I am. For long, I wondered why I had so many difficulties making friends, why I am lonely so often. Only recently did I realize the reason, which is pretty simple : I am an a--hole : I am arrogant, unfriendly, mean. I wouldn't even remotely like myself if I were somebody else, and I don't remotely like myself now.
Besides, I am becoming really bad, really dark, or really "evil" as some would say. Because of all my bitterness, I am starting to be really full of hatred, and out of any love. |
This sounds vaguely familiar. Oh yeah, I remember now. There was this suicidal chap by the name of Eckhart Tolle. Like you, he also hated himself and was contemplating suicide. You can read his account of this episode of his life in a book entitled "The Power of Now".
I think that the book may do you some good. Really. No harm reading it, before you kill yourself, right? Just a couple of extra hours of life are needed, to read it.