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JSB · 08-29-2007, 12:37 PM

suicidaldude,

I have been in a very dark place in the past, though perhaps not as "deep down" as you are now. I have felt worthless, like my life was a curse or a punishment, that being forced to incarnate was a profound injustice (or that I must have been very evil in another life, and deserved only the worst), that a merciful God, if He/She/It exists, would take me out of all this.

I am not trying to condescend to you, or to say "I know what you are feeling", because I don't; your feelings and experiences of the world are unique to you. But others have maybe had similar feelings, emotions and beliefs that might have a familiar scent.

I don't think anyone can logically convince you to change your mind, because this is not about logic --- it's about feeling, experience, and the perception of what is true. The only way you are possibly going to be open to any alternatives is if you experience them, if your perception shifts.

You are right: people die all the time. It's commonplace. People also experience deep shifts in experience, perception, and understanding.
Please, at least consider, as a harmless intellectual exercise, as a mental game, that your current feelings and beliefs may not be "objective truth" (I may be starting some ♥♥♥♥♥ by throwing a term like that around on this board) but what you can see from where you are standing. Now, that might not make you FEEL any better, viscerally, but it is worth thinking about.

I know what you mean about New Age nonsense. I see most things spiritual as "a pearl in a pile of ****" --- maybe 90% of what's out there is preying on people's desires, or self-deluded, or well-intentioned but uselss, or simply part of the entertainment industry; but there are also some very valuable things if you are willing to dig through the muck.

I mentioned the energy work in the last post because it can be a good way to shift things and open yourself up to new perspectives. As far as New Age BS goes, that EFT manual is free, so you've got nothing to lose. Spring Forest Qigong can be very effective, but it takes time and dedication. I've met Chunyi Lin, who created the form, and he is definitely not a con-man; he's very good at what he does and he seems normal and down to earth; there's none of that arrogant, humorless guru stench about him.

Sorry, I'm babbling here, and it wasn't my intenetion to lecture or get on my high horse. I just hate to see you suffering so much, and I think you have some options.

If you are so intent on dying, why not wait a year and spend that time trying some of the suggestions people have offered? Can it hurt any more than what you feel already? Even if it doesn't fix everything, wouldn't it be worthwhile to have more than one perspective, more than one experience of the world and yourself?

Thanks for reading my endless post, and I hope this didn't come across as preaching. I wish you well.

JSB

08-29-2007, 12:37 PM	#23 (permalink)
JSB Family Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,133	suicidaldude, I have been in a very dark place in the past, though perhaps not as "deep down" as you are now. I have felt worthless, like my life was a curse or a punishment, that being forced to incarnate was a profound injustice (or that I must have been very evil in another life, and deserved only the worst), that a merciful God, if He/She/It exists, would take me out of all this. I am not trying to condescend to you, or to say "I know what you are feeling", because I don't; your feelings and experiences of the world are unique to you. But others have maybe had similar feelings, emotions and beliefs that might have a familiar scent. I don't think anyone can logically convince you to change your mind, because this is not about logic --- it's about feeling, experience, and the perception of what is true. The only way you are possibly going to be open to any alternatives is if you experience them, if your perception shifts. You are right: people die all the time. It's commonplace. People also experience deep shifts in experience, perception, and understanding. Please, at least consider, as a harmless intellectual exercise, as a mental game, that your current feelings and beliefs may not be "objective truth" (I may be starting some ♥♥♥♥♥ by throwing a term like that around on this board) but what you can see from where you are standing. Now, that might not make you FEEL any better, viscerally, but it is worth thinking about. I know what you mean about New Age nonsense. I see most things spiritual as "a pearl in a pile of ****" --- maybe 90% of what's out there is preying on people's desires, or self-deluded, or well-intentioned but uselss, or simply part of the entertainment industry; but there are also some very valuable things if you are willing to dig through the muck. I mentioned the energy work in the last post because it can be a good way to shift things and open yourself up to new perspectives. As far as New Age BS goes, that EFT manual is free, so you've got nothing to lose. Spring Forest Qigong can be very effective, but it takes time and dedication. I've met Chunyi Lin, who created the form, and he is definitely not a con-man; he's very good at what he does and he seems normal and down to earth; there's none of that arrogant, humorless guru stench about him. Sorry, I'm babbling here, and it wasn't my intenetion to lecture or get on my high horse. I just hate to see you suffering so much, and I think you have some options. If you are so intent on dying, why not wait a year and spend that time trying some of the suggestions people have offered? Can it hurt any more than what you feel already? Even if it doesn't fix everything, wouldn't it be worthwhile to have more than one perspective, more than one experience of the world and yourself? Thanks for reading my endless post, and I hope this didn't come across as preaching. I wish you well. JSB