Thank you everybody for your answers. I understand your eagerness to offer alternative solutions, "energy" work, therapy, or the help of spiritual groups.
But I am through. To answer Erin's question, regarding whether I want my life to get better or to be over, well, I've thought about it, and the answer is that I want it to be over. It doesn't get better. Not for me. And there is no point in preaching the contrary.
I am really looking for ways to be heard by the "other side" for a simple request : the right to be done with this life. It is not anything hard : people die every days. Children die. Some babies die before they can even walk or speak. Hell, women even have miscarriages. I don't see why I should live to be one day older than I am now.
I can't go to these "energy healing" sessions for a simple reason : where I live, 99% of the groups associated with New-Age beliefs are just opportunistic cult-leaders or liars that only are after the "energetic aura" of your wallet. And I don't have much of that either. I can't take this chance.
Birdy, you said you had something to offer via PM. I'd be glad to hear it.
Thank you everyone for your comments and assistance. The problem with people like me is that they are always analyzed through several layers of "filters". People believe we are throwing bottles in the sea and that they need to offer "alternatives". I don't want my life to get better, I want it to be over.
I am no good, and that is fact.
Regarding my "choice" to exist, no, I didn't make it. I might have chosen to incarnate (although I seriously believe my hand had been forced to some level), but I didn't choose to start "being", to start "existing", longbefore this life that I hate.
Thanks anyway.
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