Suicidaldude,
You've consciously acknowledged to yourself (and now us) your choice to end your physical life. What you have not done is acknowledged your choice to live, to keep going here in the physical.
You say you choose to die everyday.... well you are also making the choice to live everyday and your focus is on living, or else you wouldn't be here. Can you acknowledge that?
"I am choosing to live, now. And it's ok."
And you also have not acknowledged you don't want the walk-in option either (or that would have happened). I guess you have more courage to be in this world than you think.
So, you're not killing yourself, then what? Work on your depression. Find what's real and what you made up that you think is real. Start another thread (prolly in emotional mastery section) and put how you feel today and go from there.
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