Last but not least, if you can't talk to your 'friends' about this kind of stuff (that you had an urge to divulge here in more detail than necessary just so you get some 'great feedback'?) than what kind of 'friends' do you actually really have?
To me it's another give-away that you're not nearly as cool or 'great' and 'fantastic' as you claim to be. If you don't have friends you can talk to about this kind of stuff or you can't talk
about this with them, you're a sad person indeed.
So much for your 'friends', huh?
Wake up to your own BS. It's about bloody time.