The most frustrating thing about this situation is that it feels like there is nothing you can do about it. The reason for this is because you never did anything to be put in this situation in the first place. As far as you know, your life is just an accident that happened to you. Stupid people do stupid things to you for no reason, and every time you try to get out, you find that you've been infected by their stupidity so that you can't even help yourself.
The first step to getting out of this situation is not to get out, but to get in. Everything is an accident now; you need to make it on purpose. When your family makes you angry, you need to be angry on purpose. When you do something stupid, or when you feel powerless, you need to be stupid and powerless with intent.
Look at it this way; from your family's perspective, you are ruining your life. The part of you that sees things the same way they do sees that you are ruining your life, and says as much. The solution is not to kill that voice or yourself or your family. The only voice you can silence is your own. The solution is to make that voice your own, so when it says something, it is you that is saying it.
You may soon find that when the voices in your head are your own, you won't have to silence them any more than you need to silence the voice in your throat. You will simply stop saying things that don't need to be said. But in order to start doing well on purpose, you must first be doing poorly on purpose.
An exercise you can try is, whenever there is a voice in your head that says there's something wrong with you, agree with it. When you feel like a loser, say you are a loser. When you feel like you hate your family, say you hate your family. It doesn't have to be true, and you don't have to say these things to anyone but yourself; you just need to show the voices in your head that you're not going to fight them anymore, because they are your voices and the things they say are the things you say.
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