Ron, I respect your opinion but I disagree with you. I don't see anything wrong with casual sex. I don't see it as an escape from confusion. I see it as an expression of happiness and peace. My lovers never hurt me. They're my friends. Not everyone needs romantic love. I like the label of slut because I have taken back what was supposed to be an insult and changed the defintion to a woman who has lovers, is happy, gentle, peaceful, and giving.
I called a hotline and now I feel much better. The counselor and I realized together I had internalized verbal and psychological abuse. We decided that I should continue to be myself regardless of how society feels and that I should pretend that society doesn't exist. I should just stick to my inner circle.
I'm working on pretending strangers don't exist and living as if my inner circle of friends and family are the only ones in existence; living as if we are the only people on earth. If possible I won't even be near humans so they don't get in my head and try to manipulate me.