Girl Ann, when you have things you're truly proud of, that stuff ceases to matter. You fall in love with the process of the effort it takes. For me, I adore searchng for those awesome bargain clothes no one else has.
My Slamhot Boy? I LIKED working for his attention, and when I was the positive, well-dressed, educated woman I was, it wasn't hard. Love the process of looking for that really fabulous $15 shirt. Love the process of education. Love the process of before you even know who someone is, via email or on the phone, getting those little hints into their mind.
Today Slamhot sends me an MRI scan of his brain to my work email, for example. I am probably one of the few women who would think this is "beautiful" or interesting. But I do, and I enjoy it. It's learning to live in the moment. And when you learn to love the moment and be positive, that's when the positive things snowball: You start dating the guy you're so proud to be with, you finally get that really hot Venexiana dress, you get a job with great health insurance, you move to that apartment with free-roaming chickens in the backyard, and all those things blur together because they're all good, but at the end of the day you can look at them and be satisfied and grateful, and know if all that material stuff was gone tomorrow, it's okay.