One morning a couple of years ago, my lady Marie came into the living room and started pulling books off the bookshelf and throwing them on the floor. Every self help book, every 'make your life better' idea ever written. It took a little while but she was on a mission, so i sat and watched. When she was done, she turned to me and said:
"Yeah, I get it now. None of this works. Nothing anybody has ever come up with works. We all know that because we all keep doing it and watching everybody else do it. It works for a while and then it doesn't. Then we get another damn book or go to another damn seminar. The human way doesn't work!"
I started grinning and I couldn't stop. This was the turning point for her; one that most never get to their whole lives. The turning away from the next thing I can do to make myself happy. The next momentary satisfaction, the next long term goal. The beginning of the inevitable turning inward, hopefully not in a confused attempt to do battle with ego or mind, but to finally find out what in blazes is actually going on.
The last two years for her have been a wild ride of terrifying, heartbreaking insight, an unimagined depth of feeling, the end of insomnia, panic, vulnerability, high blood pressure, sickness and the settling in of a Peace that passes all understanding. It's not the wimpy, weakling ride that those on the roller coaster would have it appear. It takes an astounding courage and a willingness to see the truth at all cost. There aren't too many books written about it, really, because nobody even knows they want that until they've had their fill of 'personal development' and get very clear that "The human way doesn't work."
In many ways, this forum epitomizes what doesn't work, and yet the exploration is necessary and perfect, and it actually does seem to work for a while, but as Steve is slowly finding out, sooner or later everything fails to satisfy; everything must be burnt to ashes and left behind. It's a fitting end.
The freedom that is sought is the freedom from the seeking itself. This can be a very long road and involve a lot of sadness for those who aren't quick enough to get out of our way.
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