I feel with you. My heart is with you and I am lifting you up.
I have found that the shut down is the worst place I could be because it has taken over my life. My entire being is deduced to overcoming the shut-down/avoidance.
The way that I have discovered is to allow the feelings to come and to become mindful of them. the mindfulness does not end the anxiety but it allows me to function IN SPITE of it.
It is VERY difficult at first but I have read and believe that it gets better every day that I am successful at moving forward through it. Being present rather than repressing actually effects the brain circuitry. That is my intention and my goal. I wish it for you as well.
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