Things look different today.
Last night I sent him a message -"Wish you were joining me" (bc today I leave the country)
He replied something sweet, but thats when it really hit me that I do have a lot of healing to do. That was a needy message.
@seahorse- Maybe bc of the way you write, like you know it all, and know me, I had resistance to what you wrote
But I think you really did pick up on something deep in me.
I do not want to believe that I need to fully heal before I can be in a relationship, because who knows how long that will take. But I will start.
Where to start?
Just acknowledging this is a start I guess....
Because as far as using LOA I showed here that I can manifest whatever I can vision. When I started this thread I was living in NYC with a vision board full of seaside "couple in love" images.
And a few months later I manifest the great guy who had all the qualities I wrote down. All while living by the sea. Also lots of big steps happened in my career. I dont write about that here, but it happened.
I am very visual, so whatever I see I can create.
But how can I really make it last?
For that I need to look deeper. Look at my pain too.
I dont even know if I can change.
I enjoy so much abundance in the other areas of my life, that if this area is still stuck that means theres something way deeper.
You were right Seahorse.
You know its funny. About 5 years ago I was in Turkey and a friend did a coffee reading. She gave me the most abstract reading ever. But I remember her saying "Look for the seahorse, it will guide you" Since then Ive been looking for seahorse images. haha.
Maybe you are the guide. I definately feel like you guided me in the right direction.
I do believe in subjective reality. So its no wonder the forums are closing. I have gone as far as I can with "manifesting my new reality"
But now theres inner work to do. Which maybe I do not need to share publicly....