Everything I wanted to say to you
Dear lovely people of S&R, as one of the former mods of this forum, I read many of your threads, and even when I was quiet, I thought about how I could help you with your struggles. This is basically what I came up with. I never really found a good time to post this, so here it is now.
Love, acceptance, and understanding are the keys to great relationships. When one of these things is missing, the relationship deteriorates. In my life, whenever I've felt stressed about any kind of relationship or social situation, it's because one of these wasn't working well -- understanding has been my biggest hurdle, but acceptance has been there for me as well. For you, it may be different.
If you don't feel likeable, check to see whether you're approaching people with positive regard and compassion. When I regard people positively, even if I don't say anything or actively compliment them, the relationship tends to flourish. And everyone has their struggles. Try to empathize with those, even if they initially seem absurd to you -- everyone is different, and from that person's perspective, I promise, it's not small or silly.
Be forgiving. People change.
I can't think of anything else right now, but I'll surely update this thread if I do. Thank you all for sharing so much here. I've made so many wonderful friends, and I'm very grateful. And if you have anything to add, please feel free to do so.
Lots of love!
|