Hey I'm really sorry to hear about it. Breakups can be so tough!
I went through a pretty painful break up last year. It was the other person that did the deed. We had been living together for nearly four years so I felt absolutely devastated and lost when it happened. I didn't want it to end at that time.
I don't think you can avoid allowing yourself to go through the natural feelings and emotions of parting ways. I let myself cry. I wrote in my journal a lot. I spoke to my closest friends regularly for support. I was really emotional for a couple of months or so.
I allowed myself some distance between that person and myself even though I wanted nothing more than to run back to him. When he tried to contact me I let him know why I needed some space before I could speak. I still loved him but obviously, this was about me. I knew that if my emotions and thoughts were continually entangled with him, I wouldn't be able to see things clearly. I knew that after all the time I had given him I deserved some quiet time for myself.
I made space in my life to be able to spend time reflecting, thinking and reading. I bought a stack of books from the second hand bookstore and kept reading. I think keeping myself immersed in positive information and spiritual awareness allowed me to move on much quicker.
Eventually I was able to cleanse myself of those emotions tied up with my ex. One day I knew I had moved on and had fully let go. I was able to get back in touch with him and we had a wonderful conversation over skype. I sent him an email thanking him for everything I had learnt from him. I wished him the best. Instead of feeling sad it had ended I started to be grateful the relationship happened because of how much of I had grown as a person while we were together. It was only from this place that I chose to contact him. I don't think I would have done it before I moved on. I think it would have made it more difficult as it was only something I could do.
My ex and I are both in new relationships and have moved on. I feel at peace with the relationship I had with my ex and can see the grander reason it happened. We're not in touch that often, but we can talk when we choose to without it being weird or awkward.
I also realised that us breaking up was a positive thing (it took be a while to see this) because we both had outgrown the relationship. He had seen this, and had the courage to end it, whereas I was still not able to see this at the time because I was too emotionally tied to him.
Hope your able to find peace in time with yourself,
ainsleigh
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