I may want to hang around with that cute blonde in the office, but what if she doesn't give me the time of day?
That a completely different subject.
If you want to hang out with a cute woman because you are interested in her you get resistence.
Both in yourself and in herself.
If you go to a group that about some personal development topic and say: "I'm here to change", they usually welcome you with open arms.
Especially if you follow their guidance. Don't argue their suggestions but follow them and they will mend you into a different person.
Taking NLP seminars and joining NLP practice groups would be one way.