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Originally Posted by Chinese Dragon  Better a screwed up childhood than no childhood. |
I disagree. Having had a screwed up childhood full of every kind of abuse you can name, and having, as an adult, spent many years trying to sort it all out and come through it with something resembling sanity and dignity, I actually would have preferred to be aborted. Apparently, that was an option (despite the fact that it was illegal at that time).
Can't tell you how many times I've cursed the day I was born. I'm in my forties now and while for the most part I do all right, I still sometimes wish my mother had just gone through with it and not brought me into the world. Bringing a child into the world to abuse it is, in my opinion, a lot worse than terminating the pregnancy, and I say that as someone who was conceived by accident and who did "trap" my mother into an unhappy marriage (or so she likes to believe) and who DOES wish that I hadn't had to come here and endure the stuff I have.
Thirty-plus years of continual pain and ongoing difficulty as a result of the horrible family situation in which I grew up... yeah, I'm just SO glad the idiot woman who is my mother made the decision that she should go through with her unwanted pregnancy and raise her unwanted child in painful, abusive, hurtful circumstances. Yay. What a fine moral person she is.
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Originally Posted by Chinese Dragon Try telling an abortion survivor that it's good that their parents wanted them dead. |
My mother, point blank, didn't want me. She made that crystal clear to me throughout my life. I was a burden, I was a troublemaker, I was a "problem child", I was what kept her from succeeding in life, I was the cause of everything bad in her life. Try growing up knowing that your mother hates you and see what that does to your self-perception and your spiritual development.
I am, as I said, getting to the point where I've mostly moved past that, but even after being estranged from my parents for ten years, even after years of therapy and soul searching, even after all kinds of measures taken toward healing and growth, there is still bitterness and there is always the fear that maybe I really AM all those hateful things...
I don't particularly care to be alive. I don't think this world is that great of a place to be. It has some pretty amazing moments, and sometimes I feel pretty okay to be here, but overall... Nup. Life here on this spinning mudball isn't all that great. If I'd never been born, that would be fine.