[TipToe]

I lost my father to cancer last summer and I think about him all the time. I miss him very much and there is one question that I've been obsessing about since he died which is what happened to him?

Did he reincarnate? Is he on another planet? Did he wake up in a parallel universe telling another ME how he dreamt he had died of cancer?

Before his death, I was a big believer in reincarnation but now, I'm not so sure mostly because I think it's tragic. If I had a previous life, I don't remember anything about it. I don't remember who my parents were, I don't remember anyone I loved. When I die, I won't remember this life and anyone in it.

If my father reincarnated or will reincarnate as a child in another country, he won't remember me. He won't remember what we went through together, the songs he used to sing to me when I was a child, the vacations we went on. Thinking about this has made me very depressed. I've even sort of detached from my beloved mother who doesn't understand why I'm so distant. I'm distant because she'll die too and won't remember me either. I feel like there is no meaning to life and to loving someone because all their memories of you will be wiped out when they die.