It is a powerful insight. It feels tremendously peaceful, doesn't it?
I forget about it at times too. Well, actually, may be it is more of a case of taking the principle of non-attachment and the path of least resistance and upgrading it to a more sophisticated coping system. I've always had this weird fear of being alone (I distinctly remember waking up at a really young age with a terrifying thought that I was going to end up alone). Compared to that, indifference and simply letting go is peaceful. It is sort of like escapism in a way: 'I just don't ♥♥♥♥ing care any more if I am alone. I'm not going to care about people'. But it works. It is a hell of a lot better than putting a bullet through your head.
But it is a poor coping mechanism, in my experience, as those fears of rejection and being alone always resurface the moment I meet the slightest bit of emotional intimacy in my life. That doesn't mean that I can keep working on the principle of non-attachment and a path of least resistance though. I'm slowly working on a system where I actively build relationships with a genuine interest, but there is the underlying understanding that it really doesn't mean anything if I am alone. It just is. There is no attachment to a particular outcome.
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Originally Posted by Lethalmind  Definitely was the giving up of all resistance and struggle. I called it surrendering to what is.
It was the most powerful insight I've ever come across. I kind of forgot about it until now because it quit working.
If I had become a parapalegic, leper or blind during that time, I would've been able to accept it. "That's what is" and there's no use in struggling with a more powerful force. |