Just in my own words, being suicidal is like being stuck in the lonely dungeon of your mind being tormented by 'nothings'. 'Nothings' are excessively critical and disparaging thoughts that relate to our social environment (i.e you'll always be alone, you'll never be loved, you will never be good enough), but I call them nothings, as on closer inspection, they rarely have an absolute basis in reality. But try telling a suicidal teenager that they are not alone because they clearly have a family that loves them on some level. You'll see that they won't believe you. That is why I don't think there is anything logical about suicide. If you had mental clarity, I don't think you would be driven to suicide to begin with and you would probably see more effective resources to deal with your problems.
May be you had such a beautiful day simply because you stopped struggling and resisting towards aspects of your life that you previously felt inclined to judge and criticize? I think the moments in my life where I've felt most at peace have been when I stopped caring and simply accepted my life as it came. In a way, it was giving my self permission to be happy unconditionally. May be it is profound indifference, in a way.
Originally Posted by Lethalmind
I was done with the struggle of life. No worry at all for once in my life. Then it went away and here I am again. In my lonely dungeon.
I'm still trying to figure out wtf I did too have such a beautiful, outstanding day.