Originally Posted by RonSouther
She was rosy the morning of her death according to my neighbor who saw her.
Living from logic is our misery.
When all of the problems fade away, and you don't have to worry about them anymore it's a nice feeling in a sort of twisted sense.
I've been suicidal at points just to get away from the stuff I fear coming in the future. Mentally, I feel like I'm screwed up beyond any repair and the future will only equal a living hell; like the present only way way way worse. When I'm suicidal I don't have to worry about any of it.
It actually led me to a brief insight where I had an entire day of pure happiness. I refused to get involved with my struggles.
If a bear mauled me at that point I wouldn't have struggled one bit or been upset.
I was done with the struggle of life. No worry at all for once in my life. Then it went away and here I am again. In my lonely dungeon.
I'm still trying to figure out wtf I did too have such a beautiful, outstanding day.
I used to be against suicide(My brother killed himself), but in my opinion everyone has the right to opt out. When you reach your threshold no one has a right to keep you here. Still, I'm only going to use it as my last option (Getting closer).
If I go that route, my goal is to die with a smile.
It's sad especially when parents kill themselves(My brother left behind 3 kids). No death is easy though, and living for other people is not an option in my opinion. Just leads to a torturous existence.
I've gone that route for years, living for my mom, and mostly, only felt like ♥♥♥♥. Live for yourself or don't live at all in my opinion.