Quote:
Originally Posted by RonSouther  She was rosy the morning of her death according to my neighbor who saw her.
Living from logic is our misery. |
When all of the problems fade away, and you don't have to worry about them anymore it's a nice feeling in a sort of twisted sense.
I've been suicidal at points just to get away from the stuff I fear coming in the future. Mentally, I feel like I'm screwed up beyond any repair and the future will only equal a living hell; like the present only way way way worse. When I'm suicidal I don't have to worry about any of it.
It actually led me to a brief insight where I had an entire day of pure happiness. I refused to get involved with my struggles.
If a bear mauled me at that point I wouldn't have struggled one bit or been upset.
I was done with the struggle of life. No worry at all for once in my life. Then it went away and here I am again. In my lonely dungeon.
I'm still trying to figure out wtf I did too have such a beautiful, outstanding day.
I used to be against suicide(My brother killed himself), but in my opinion everyone has the right to opt out. When you reach your threshold no one has a right to keep you here. Still, I'm only going to use it as my last option (Getting closer).
If I go that route, my goal is to die with a smile.
It's sad especially when parents kill themselves(My brother left behind 3 kids). No death is easy though, and living for other people is not an option in my opinion. Just leads to a torturous existence.
I've gone that route for years, living for my mom, and mostly, only felt like ♥♥♥♥. Live for yourself or don't live at all in my opinion.