Andwan...
There is also another aspect to take into account. When we have major depression, there are changes that take place in our brains...consider it a sort of re-wiring...this happens with depression, chronic illness...etc...
Part of being able to get over the depression is learning how to rewire your brain in a more positive way...learning to interrupt your thoughts and not allow where ever your negativity goes...this includes your rage...
So finding an outlet, like Emerge suggested would be really really good...helps distract your mind and you can use the energy to produce something for yourself that makes you feel good...
But learning to be aware of what you are thinking and feeling is very important. Recognizing that your thoughts and feelings are going in a negative direction - and then NOT allowing yourself to BUY into it...
Like saying, "OK, I feel like I want to smash a window"...recognize and acknowledge the thought...and then let it go...because you don't want to go there...and replace it with something positive...
Learning to rewire your brain into a more healthy pattern of thinking and responding and difficult and challenging...but can be done...you can also look into things like DBT therapy - which can help you find techniques for making these changes...
I myself learned to beat severe depression on my own, without meds or therapy...I have other issues that I needed help on...but the depression - that I got rid of 100% on my own...and it feels great...
And yes, there are lessons to learn in all of it...even if you simply need to learn that you CAN overcome any obstacle in your way - including yourself...
Christine
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