It's strange for me to see a thread like this because I've been working with the same kind of thing. Here is something that works REALLY well. Take your last sentence - "Then I can finally be successful and loved." and replace it with - "I AM successful and loved".
Each time you 'catch' yourself in your 'negative' thought pattern, just cut straight in and replace it with, "I AM successful and loved". Repeat that over and over in your mind when you wake up in the mornings, and before you go to sleep at night. It will quickly sink through to the subconscious.